Needing to be around people but wanting to be alone,
settling for the middle and curling up next to your phone.
It’s not waiting for the other shoe to drop, but throwing it on the floor because the shoe doesn’t drop as hard when the hand that drops it is yours
It’s headaches, heart palpitations, and I think im going to die…
Actually, sorry for bothering you, I guess I’m actually alright
It’s why did I say that, I really wish I hadn’t?
Why didn’t I say that, I really wish I had?
It’s forcing yourself to be social then going off the grid.
It’s not wanting to go out, until you don’t, then you wish you did.
It’s carrying your essentials to bed, because what if there’s a fire and you need to escape?
It’s checking that you turned the oven off multiple times, because what if it’s not actually off?
It’s being scared of being left alone.
It’s being uncomfortable in a crowd.
It’s almost throwing up before you give that presentation.
It’s making sure you mention every person you care about in your prayers, just in case.
It’s calling your family in the middle of the night to tell them you love them because you got a bad feeling.
Anxiety wears many faces and is many things, but this is what it’s not.
It is not just negative thinking. It is not just “cheer up”. It is not “don’t compare yourself to others”. It is not a pity party.
It is real and it is a constant battle.
If you are fighting yourself every day, know this…
You are so very strong.
You are brave.
You’ve got this.
Mental Health awareness month isn’t until May.
But for those of us who struggle with mental health issues, the awareness of it is every second, of every hour, of every day.
Beyond those rare, fleeting moments of peace, it’s hard to see the calm in the storm.
I choose to be open with my struggles with panic attacks and anxiety, and the fact that I’m working every day to accept help where needed and to rely on God to give me a peace that surpasses my own understanding.
If you feel like you’re sinking beneath it all, and need a chat,
Please don’t go it alone. 💛
I know with some forms of anxiety it’s almost impossible to reach out, so consider this me reaching out to you! I’m always down to listen.