As a 90s kid myself we are entering a new age of parenting. Most of us question ourselves with parenting our children. Either because we internally are struggling with what to do or external pressures are causing us to to raise questions.
As a therapist specializing in motherhood transitions, there parenting deliemas become part of our work in support moms through early challenges of motherhood.
When we have these issues raised here are some things to consider:
- What are your triggers in stressful moments?
- Do you have some vulnerability factors?
- How do we cope with our own emotions and reactions to our children?
Triggers
These are things that have a history of being emotionally difficult. Examples can be: loud noises, screaming, hitting, or situations that mimick your own childhood in some way. Or more examples:
1)A child arguing
2)repeated meltdowns
3)Lying
4)stealing
Vulnerability Factors
What’s going on with you that keeps things harder to keep yourself regulated emotionally?
could it be: sleep issues, physical illness, work issues, financial struggles, family dynamics, interpersonal stressor.
If we can identify these issues and seek support for them, we are reducing our vulnerability to parent in a way we did not intend.
Coping with our emotions
When we as parents regulate, we give our kids the dame chance. We are the models for how to express emotions as well as work through emotions.
- Breathe
- Notice what your body is feeling
- RESPOND KINDLY
If all fails: go take a break and try again children give us the opportunity to continue working on this;)
Be Well.
Adapted from:Intragraged Parenting strategies for raising children affected by attachment trauma 2014 Debrea wesslelmann, Cathy Schweitzer, and Stefanie Armstrong
Messy Mama 